Growing up with a sibling with autism has many positive aspects. It fosters compassion, patience, and empathy. However, it can be overwhelming and lead to embarrassment and resentment.
As a parent, it is challenging to help neurotypical and neurodivergent siblings interact, so setting realistic expectations is essential. With some care and compassion, your children can form a bond that lasts a lifetime. Below you’ll find six tips to help establish a positive relationship between your children with intellectual differences.
How to strengthen the relationship of your child with autism and your neurotypical child
All children are individuals with strengths, weaknesses, quirks, and preferences. But when you have a neurotypical child and a child with autism, these differences may seem more pronounced. Supporting your neurotypical child’s needs, listening to their frustrations, and using these strategies will help create harmony in your home.
- Plan activities – Encourage your children to spend time together, participating in activities they enjoy. Simple interaction can strengthen their relationship, such as playing video games or building with Legos. It does not have to be interactive. Even watching a TV show they both like helps create memories of shared experiences.
- Provide space – Ask your neurotypical child to let you know when they need privacy or space. There will inevitably be times when they need a break or refuge. Set up a place in your house where they can have quiet time, do homework without interruption, or spend time with friends. Communicate these boundaries to your child with autism to ensure they respect them.
- Alone time – Neurotypical children sometimes feel like their sibling with autism gets more or special attention, resulting in jealousy and resentment. To counter this, schedule time with your neurotypical child to give them your undivided attention. The activity does not have to be an elaborate outing. Go for a walk around the block, eat breakfast out on a weekend morning, or watch a movie.
- Encourage communication – Having a sibling with autism can be stressful for your neurotypical child. They might feel embarrassed by their sibling’s behavior or frustrated that they require extra attention. Ensure they come to you with any concerns without feeling judged. Answer all their questions thoroughly and allow them to ask follow-up questions as they process the information.
- Make them part of the team – Help foster mentorship roles for siblings by asking them to model positive social interaction and giving them tasks to help your child with autism. This approach is beneficial for both, as children with ASD are sometimes more willing to listen to their siblings than to adults. Neurotypical children and teens are also uniquely suited to teach their siblings with autism how to interact with peers because they understand the rules of their social world much better than their parents or other adults.
- ABA therapy – ABA therapists support healthy interactions between siblings by teaching appropriate social skills such as conversing, listening, making eye contact, and avoiding lashing out. Providers of ABA therapy for kids can also help your neurotypical child understand autism, why their siblings act the way they do, and how to interact with patience and compassion. Some organizations have support groups specifically for siblings of children with autism. It can be comforting for them to speak with other siblings so they can connect with and share experiences with other siblings of children with ASD.
Take advantage of online resources
There are many online resources to help neurotypical children interact with their siblings with autism. Here are just a few:
Autism Speaks – Autism Speaks, a nonprofit organization that provides advocacy, services, research, and other resources for people with ASD and their families, has a comprehensive guide for siblings. It includes practical tips and stories from children who have siblings with autism.
Sesame Workshops – Sesame Workshop’s Autism Initiative has resources for younger children and their families. It introduces Julia, Sesame Street’s character with ASD, to help siblings better understand it. It also has videos, family games, coloring pages, and more.
Organization for Autism Research – The nonprofit Organization for Autism Research provides information for parents and siblings of all ages. Autism, My Sibling, and Me is a workbook for children ages five to 10. Life as an Autism Sibling: A Guide for Teens, is in a Q & A format for older siblings./
GBC Autism Services: Strengthening Family Bonds
GBC Autism Services provides children with autism and their families in the Chicagoland, Peoria, Normal, Rockford, Springfield, and Dekalb areas with research-based ABA therapy. We are committed to improving the lives of people with autism and their families by incorporating each child’s strengths to improve real-world integration. Read more about autism, ABA therapy, and our services on our blog.
