Eye contact is a crucial non-verbal social skill most of us use without thinking as we interact with others. Among other things, it:

• Conveys our desire for social interaction with someone
• Lets the other person know we’re listening attentively 
• Lets us pick up on important verbal and non-verbal cues

People may assume many things about us based solely on how and when we make eye contact— including the presumption that lack of eye contact equates with rejection. 

But for kids with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), making eye contact can be stressful and awkward, which may be detrimental to social competence.  

Why Do Kids With ASD Find It Hard to Make Eye Contact?

The truth is, while there is a strong correlation between kids with ASD and difficulty making eye contact, causation is not yet fully understood. 

In oversimplified terms, the subcortical pathway enables automatic face processing, and some studies show that “when constrained to look in the eyes, people with ASD show abnormally high activation in the subcortical system, which may be at the bases of their eye avoidance in daily life.” 

Whatever the exact cause, many kids with ASD find it almost excruciatingly uncomfortable to make eye contact.

What Are the Best Tips for Encouraging My Child to Make Eye Contact?

From visual support to Applied Behavior Analysis (or ABA Therapy), there are lots of effective ways to help your child feel more comfortable making eye contact. 

It’s important to understand that each of these strategies requires patience, and they work best when taught in small steps, with your expectations for advancement managed accordingly.

#1 Teach Them Alternative Ways to Show Interest During a Conversation

Examples of ways to help your child learn to demonstrate attentiveness without making eye contact include things like:

• Fully Facing a Conversation Partner. This is a non-verbal indication that you are paying attention to what someone else is saying.
• Using Comments to Indicate Attentiveness. Have your child practice making short comments (like “Umm-humm,” “I see,” and “Okay”) to show they are listening as the speaker briefly pauses while talking.
• Practice Being Candid. It may be easiest for your child to say to the person, “I want you to know I’m paying attention even when I’m not looking you in the eye.”

These strategies can also be taught using ABA therapy alongside a professional with expertise in this field. 

#2 Modify Your Own Behavior to Elicit a Glance

One thing you can do as you teach your child how to make and hold eye contact is to pause before answering their question. 

• This may prompt your child to look in your direction to determine whether you heard them. In that moment, verbally support your child by saying things like, “Nice looking!” or “It’s great to see you looking at me!” 
• You can also continue the exercise by pausing and holding their gaze for longer and longer periods before answering or giving them what they asked for.

Again, ABA therapy for kids can provide excellent support for you as you explore these and other strategies. 

#3 Focus on Your Child’s Interests

If your child is really into dinosaurs, a particular TV show, or something else, encourage them to talk with you about it. Notice whether this makes it easier for them to make eye contact. 

#4 Applied Behavioral Analysis

What is Applied Behavioral Analysis for kids? ABA is an immensely effective, research-based treatment centered on the science of learned behavior, and can often take place in-home.

This highly successful therapy is used to improve attention, focus, social skills, memory, and academics. Some areas of focus include:

• Communication
• Play and leisure skills
• Self-help and adaptive behaviors
• Cognitive development
• Social interaction
• Behavior
• Parent and family training 

Consult With an Expert

If you are looking for help teaching your child how to make eye contact in social situations, one of the best things you can do is to find an experienced ABA-trained therapist to support you and your child in this journey. 

At GBC Autism Services, we provide ABA therapy to children with autism in the areas of Chicagoland, Peoria, Normal, Rockford, Springfield, Dekalb, and North-West Indiana. Our services include in-home and clinic-based ABA therapy, early intervention services, school consultations, and social skills groups.

The team at GBC doesn’t only focus on the behaviors that might be seen as weaknesses in children with autism. We accept and appreciate each child’s unique abilities and incorporate them into our programming. In fact, we love to learn about each child’s interests and strengths and only look to help them navigate the world better.

You can find more resources here.