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How to Help Kids Regulate and Identify Their Emotions

June 10, 2024 GBC admin

According to Autism Speaks, emotional regulation is the ability to cope with situations that cause emotions like stress, anxiety, or frustration.” 

Anyone with autism can have a difficult time regulating their emotions, but this can be particularly challenging for kids. This is because children, whether they are neurotypical or neurodivergent, are at an age where they are still learning how to navigate and understand their emotions. So when a child has autism, implementation of emotional regulation can be particularly tough, without assistance. 

When a child is dysregulated, it can lead to meltdowns, overreactions, and mood swings because they do not adequately understand how to express themselves using words. While many children learn as they grow how to self-regulate, children with ASD can have a harder time doing so, which is why it is important to teach them how to express their emotions in a functional way and in the absence of behaviors that interfere with their daily living

Helping kids with ASD better understand their emotions can help prevent and minimize meltdowns. It can also help them lead an easier life in general, as self-regulation plays an important role in reducing anxiety and improving social interactions.  

This article will offer tips for parents or guardians seeking to help their children learn to self-regulate. It will also talk about how autism therapy for kids can be a beneficial tool in assisting children to manage their emotions better. 

Effective Strategies to Promote Emotional Self-Regulation for Children with Autism Below are some simple and practical ways to help your child learn how to self-regulate and understand their emotions:

1. Use Language, that includes Emotions, Into Everyday Conversations

One of the best ways to help kids better understand emotions is to incorporate more emotional language into everyday conversations and situations. 

For example, if you are with your child at the park and you see another kid fall and start crying, you can say, “He fell and hurt himself, and he is crying because he is sad.” Or if you see a child laughing, you could say, “They are laughing and smiling because they are happy and having fun.” In both examples, you could also model the facial expressions accompanying the emotion. 

This helps kids with ASD see real-life examples of emotions and the many different situations they can apply to. It is important to point these examples out when your child is not distressed. When someone is upset, it will be more difficult for them to process the emotions they are experiencing. Utilizing real-life examples, in the natural environment, can teach emotional regulation and enhance their understanding of their emotions and the emotions of others. So remember, anytime you are somewhere with your child, whether it is at home or out in public, try pointing out examples of people experiencing emotions and using simple emotion words to describe how they are feeling. 

2. Teach Them How to Identify Emotions Using Visual Aids

Another great way to help your child understand emotions is to use visual aids, such as pictures in books or emotion cards. When reading books with your child, for example, you can point out the emotions of the characters by saying things like, “Oh, his fists are balled up. He looks mad.” You can also use emotion cards and ask them to identify the emotions by asking, “Which one shows sad?” or “Which one shows happy?” 

It can also be helpful to create an emotion chart for your child to associate their emotions with their own personal situations. One column can show a face with the emotion — i.e. happy, sad, upset, angry, etc. — and the other column next to the faces can be labeled, “I feel this way when…” and then have your child fill in examples. As your child begins to identify their emotions, you can also utilize a rating scale with visuals to help them express the level of how they are feeling.

3. Play the “Show Me” Game

Emotion games are a fun and engaging way to help your child learn about their emotions. For example, you can say, “Show me what mad looks like,” or “Show me what sad looks like.” This gets them actively involved and helps them create connections between the emotion or feeling and how the body reacts. Make sure to positively reinforce their cooperation, and their attempts at demonstrating the prompted emotions, remembering, it might take time for them to fully be able to demonstrate the emotion as requested. 

4. Try Roleplaying or “What If” Scenarios

Roleplaying is another way to get your child to associate emotions with potential real-world situations. You could ask them, “What if you were at school and your friends said you could not sit with them at lunch — how would that make you feel?” If they are unable to answer this question, you could tell them how you would feel, so they have an example of how it might feel and that it is okay to feel a certain way.

This not only helps them identify or associate emotions with real situations, but it also presents an opportunity for you to have a calm discussion with them about what the appropriate reaction would be in those situations. Again, it is good to practice emotional recognition when they are calm and not upset. This way the child can think about and process the information you are discussing with them. If you try to accomplish this when they are upset, this could lead to more frustration.

5. Ask Them How They Feel After an Emotional Episode

After your child experiences a situation that triggers a strong emotion and they have time to de-escalate, try to sit down with them and talk about how what happened made them feel.  Try to get them to use their words to express their emotion as opposed to physical reactions. Acknowledge their strong emotions, “I am sorry you were so upset. Thank you for letting me know. I want to help you.”

If they are struggling, you can offer suggestions to help, such as “Did it feel like there was a storm inside your body because you were mad?” Similar to the roleplaying game, you can also offer suggestions for how to react appropriately when they are feeling a certain way, such as using their words or seeking a healthy self-soothing outlet, like listening to music or making art. As noted above, visual aids can be of assistance during or after a difficult emotional experience. If your child does not have the words to state how they feel in the moment, a visual of different emotions could assist them in expressing themselves, with practice over time.

How ABA Therapy Can Help

ABA, which stands for Applied Behavior Analysis, is a type of autism therapy for kids. It is based on the science of learning and behavior and is used to help improve several things, including social, emotional, communication, attention, and memory skills. 

There are many different ways ABA therapy can be applied, including reinforcing positive behavior, teaching new skills, transferring behavior from one situation or response to another, supporting a child’s unique way of seeing the world, and honoring personal wants and needs. The exact methods can vary and are often based on a program that is customized to each individual child.  

GBC ABA Therapy For Kids

GBC Autism Services provides individualized care and treatment programs for children with Autism Spectrum Disorder based on the principles of Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). Our mission is to help transform the lives of children with autism and their families by utilizing research-proven techniques to help them reach their goals and lead fulfilling lives. 

You can find more information about our services and ABA Therapy here.  

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